Divorce can be an incredibly emotional and confusing experience. Amidst the tumultuous change and sadness that this experience can bring, a divorce can sometimes prompt individuals to lash out or engage in different behaviors than normal. This can be dangerous, however, as your actions during this time can have a considerable impact on the outcome of your divorce settlement. In order to keep yourself in good standing and avoid costly pitfalls, it is important you stay in control of your actions and be aware of the “do’s” and “don’ts” of divorce.
Do not do the following during your divorce:
- Do not act hostile or violent towards your soon-to-be ex-spouse. This will only serve to give them more leverage during negotiations, or worse, cause you to end up with a restraining order or criminal charge.
- Do not violate or unnecessarily complicate custody and visitation arrangements, if you have children. Being disrespectful or engaging in any other sort of poor behavior in the eyes of the court could affect your parenting time.
- Do not attempt to get married to another person during the divorce. This will only introduce more animosity and make for a tougher legal battle.
- Do not attempt to hide property or assets in order to keep them from your spouse. Using deceitful tactics to conceal or temporarily “gift” assets to friends and get them back at a later date is an easy way to wind up in court again.
- Do not lie to your attorney.
- Do not dwell on your divorce or talk about it with anyone except your attorney. Stay occupied as much as you can and separate your divorce from your daily life.
- Do not use your children as bargaining chips during the divorce. Their wellbeing is more important than getting back at your spouse.
- Do not make any rash or impulsive decisions during this time. Unless there is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, keep the status quo for the meantime and avoid any major career changes or moves.
On the flipside, try to do the following:
- Do think before you act. If you would not like a judge to find out about it, don’t do it!
- Do get organized. You will need to provide your attorney with a myriad of different documents during your divorce. Make sure you know where they are and how you can access them.
- Do show up on time to all appointments and court hearings.
- Do fulfill all court-ordered responsibilities, such as child support and spousal support.
- Do be willing to compromise. Try to be the bigger person during this stressful time and be flexible in certain areas.
- Do take care of yourself and get help controlling your emotions. See a therapist, spend time with friends, and spend time with your children.
- Do give yourself time and space. Make time to relax and de-stress.
- Do consider your children’s feelings during this time. Everything you say and do will affect them.
While these tips can help you avoid many divorce pitfalls, the best policy is to consult with a knowledgeable attorney. At TJC • ESQ, our Providence divorce lawyers can protect your best interests and guide you step-by-step through this time of transition. To find out more about what our 25+ years of experience can do for you, contact our office online or call 401-400-4254.
