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Nesting and adjusting to divorce with your children

| Aug 19, 2020 | Divorce

Adapting to life after divorce can be challenging. After your settlement, your marriage is officially over. Which probably means you’ll move out of a shared family home and you’ll take care of your children on your own during your parenting time. Your children will also have pack up their belongings and move along with their parents. The only difference for children of parents who go through a divorce is the moving process after divorce doesn’t exactly end. Of course, you can buy your children enough necessities to have both of their parents’ homes. But to a certain degree, your kids will have to pack up their stuff through each custody exchange.

After divorce, you can keep your family home to maintain a sense of normalcy through all the change. So, instead of having your children live between two homes, you can implement a nesting arrangement. Through nesting, children will be full-time residents of the family home while parents take on the role children normally do, by splitting their time between two places. This includes living in the family home to take care of the kids and a separate dwelling when it’s not their turn with the kids. If you decide to carry out a nesting arrangement, then it’ll be crucial to evaluate how well it is working with your children and with your ex.

Although nesting can provide less commotion in your child’s life, it’s important to understand that witnessing the separation of their parents can still be painful. So, you should be sure to help your kids make sense of life after divorce by:

  • Not arguing with your co-parent in front of your children
  • Never asking your children to pass your messages along to your co-parent
  • Keeping up with your children’s lives and letting them know they can rely on you
  • Helping children talk through their feelings instead of keeping them internal

At some point, sharing the family home with your ex ever might become too much of a hassle. Maybe you don’t want to share bills anymore, you want to sell the family home or you are ready to start seeing other people. Thankfully, you can simply change your arrangement. Trying it out temporarily might allow you to see if nesting works for your family. And speaking with a family law expert can help you better understand how to create a successful parenting plan and custody arrangement.



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